Wide eyed and legless

This story was inspired by a post in a newspaper, and a challenge from a fellow writer to tell the story behind it. 

‘Reveller leaves false leg outside Doncaster pub.’

Wide eyed and legless leg outside pub 5.3.16

Wide eyed and legless.

At first it had been a steep learning curve to try to blend in without being noticed. That had been the number one instruction on the orders for my fact gathering mission.

Of all the countries I had visited the folk round here were some of the hardest to understand, despite all the technological assistance provided by my superiors.

Gradually I had gained acceptance and even been invited to join the regulars at the pub on Friday night.  As it was to be the final day of my assignment I readily accepted, especially as it would give me an opportunity to think up an explanation for my departure that night.

Pick up time was to be midnight, which gave me a couple of hours to say my Goodbyes. For professional reasons I’d always avoided alcohol but this was an occasion when one or two wouldn’t hurt.  Or so I thought!

The bleep signalling the arrival of my transport was nearly drowned by the sound of the landlord ringing a bell and shouting ‘Time gentlemen please.’

My head was spinning, my eyes wouldn’t focus and I had to be helped outside by my friends. Luckily they were too drunk to notice me removing the limbs which had enabled me to pass undetected amongst them.

As I crawled into the ship one leg slipped and clattered onto the ground behind me.

Finally able to resume my natural amphibious shape, I wondered what the humans would make of the appendage I had been forced to leave behind as we sped back to our home planet.  


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