Have you ever been sure you’ve set your alarm clock, only to find it turned off.
Perhaps one of your many gadgets stops or starts working for no apparent reason.
Here’s a possible explanation. Enjoy.
It used to be so easy being a ghost. We could just drift around without any interference and the ether had plenty of space for all of us. OK there were a few radio signals but they were nothing to worry about. It got a bit busier when television started up but it stopped us getting bored when we had to negotiate the waves. In fact it was quite fun jumping over them.
Now it’s become a constant hassle. You can’t glide an inch without bumping into something and the traffic is horrendous. Everything invades our cosmos.
Take a simple example, an alarm clock. You know the type, a bell on the top of a brass base, either run on batteries or you turned a screw on the back to wind it up. A bit hard on the fingernails maybe, but it worked and left us in peace.
Now it’s radio controlled to tell the time in any place in the world and needs mega connections to wake you up in the morning. It’s not surprising we sometimes get airspace rage and turn the clocks on and off if they get in our lane. Anyway, who the hell needs to know the time in Vegas if you live in London; or has everyone turned into high-flying stock dealers without us noticing.
That’s just the easy bit. Sat Nav, Wi-fi, Skype, Cloud, Facetime, Twitter, Facebook, computers, everything is jostling for room. A phone used to be a thing connected to wires leading to a junction box at the bottom of the road, but is that good enough? Oh no, not now. Smartphones take up more room while people take photos of themselves to put on social media in case anyone forgets what they look like. What’s wrong with popping round to your friend’s house or meeting up the pub? Oh, I forgot, you’ve never actually met your so called friends.
Another thing. Isn’t a till an adding machine where the barmaid registers a total so it can be compared with the cash taken to keep the tax man happy? Not on your life. It’s now all buttons and scans and even McDonald’s doesn’t have people taking your order. Before you can get chips you have to set up an account, log in, select your password and press the appropriate button which transmits another signal to some other wave hogging machine which uses more ether to select the appropriate temperature to comply with five million and one regulations so they don’t get sued.
Obviously all this technology involves thousands of nerds sitting at computers taking up more of our space to make improvements, which then have to have other geeks taking up more airwaves to ensure they work, which they usually don’t. What’s wrong with chucking some potatoes in hot oil and dishing it up in a paper bag, as long as they’ve added salt and vinegar of course.
Want coffee with that? Black or white, with or without sugar? Simple. Not quite. More skinny, mocha, doo dar wotsits, with the beans grown on the left or right side of the slope all involve more traffic in our rapidly reducing air space. No wonder the incidents of ectoplasmic road rage are becoming more frequent.
It’s not the population explosion that’s caused the problem, it’s the unnecessary gizmos causing overcrowding. People are living longer now, which theoretically leaves plenty of heavenly space for the dear departed, but that’s not the point. Can you really blame us spirits for trying to get our own back when we are being pushed further and further away from where we died?
So the next time you feel a cold chill, cupboards open and close by themselves, or your phone unexpectedly turns itself off you will know the reason. Stop filling our place with all your emissions and we’ll leave you to R.I.P.
©Voinks August 2016