Book Beasts

There are millions of books available so to get noticed authors rely on positive reviews from readers, and publicity from bloggers. I am lucky enough to have such support so this post is by way of a thank you to a lady who joked about her two dogs being featured. Take a bow boys. 😀

Brodie fox red lab 6.4.17 17834044_1870077386584345_3007407964296510555_o              bookworm green -149231__34023.4.17              Oscar 6.4.17 17798898_1870076589917758_3027317509877710925_n

        Brodie                                                                                              Oscar 

Boom! It had started again. It wasn’t just the noise; the reverberations actually shook the house, and added to the din as various objects crashed to the floor.

‘We can’t go on like this,’ Grace said, holding her head. ‘Every night’s the same. Just as I settle down to get some sleep it starts. We’ll have to get someone in to have a proper look and sort it out.’

Brodie looked at her for a minute then wandered off to settle down in his own bed with his paws over his ears. Oscar was already there, snoring gently and dreaming of chasing rabbits.

Grace picked up the dustpan and brush and swept up the remnants of the china milk jug now laying in shattered pieces on the floor. It had been one of her favourites, part of a set left to her by a great aunt but now totally beyond repair.

Damn. One of the shards had driven into her bare foot, and drips of blood splashed onto the tiles. Now she had to mop the floor and sort out the injury.

Sighing she finished cleaning up then went to find some antiseptic and plasters. The cut was quite deep and it took a while to stop the bleeding. So much for her early night with a good book, it was now nearly midnight. Too tired to read she turned off the light and thankfully managed to drift off to sleep as all was quiet.

The next morning Grace realised it hadn’t been a dream when a sharp pain shot through her foot as she got out of bed. Her left leg was now several shades of red with mottled mauve hues, and swollen to twice its usual size. The following few days were a round of Doctor’s appointments, hospital visits for x-rays and the frustrations of hobbling about with a walking stick.

Fortunately her neighbour was on hand to ensure the boys got their daily exercise. Unable to do anything else, at least Grace welcomed the opportunity to catch up on the long list of books on her reading pile. It was not to be. As soon as she picked one up the noise started again. Being unable to get out was the perfect time to sort the problem once and for all.

First call was to a plumber. He came out, drained down the system, checked the boiler, flushed out the radiators and left her with a seriously depleted bank balance and an assurance that all would be fine. The heating was definitely warmer but as she picked up a book for her usual bed-time read the noise started again.

The next call was to a general builder. He checked the foundations, repaired a few loose floorboards and submitted a bill which made her eyes water. Still the disruption continued, and Grace was at her wit’s end when a friend suggested an exorcist.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t believe in those things. Maybe it’s something as simple as noisy neighbours or a landslip under the foundations. Have you seen all those news reports about holes suddenly appearing in people’s gardens or the middle of roads? Think of all the rain we’ve had lately.’

‘You know your neighbours enjoy their peace and quiet Grace. Have you ever heard any noise from them? No! It’s not something natural. I don’t know what it is but it’s not of this world.’

At her wit’s end Grace finally agreed, against her better judgement, to invite a mystic to investigate.The person recommended was not what she expected. Instead of a weird woman in dangly earrings and gypsy shawl this was a young, pretty, modern girl in jeans. As she came in she noticed the bookcase, and for over an hour the two ladies sat drinking tea and chatting about their favourite authors.

‘It’s been lovely talking to you Grace but now it’s time to get down to business,’ the spiritualist said. ‘When did the noises start? What other effects are there? Do you find the room gets colder? What about the dogs? They seem very friendly but do they get anxious when the phenomenon starts?’

‘Now you mention it, yes. I thought it was because the boys wanted attention when I was trying to read, but as soon as the noise starts they do get fractious. Have you any idea what’s causing it?’

‘Unfortunately I know exactly what the problem is. One final question; do you have anything to do with reviewing books, or advising people on which ones to read?’

‘Yes, I do. I have a blog and post regularly.’

‘And you have no problem when you’re not reading or appraising books?’

‘Come to think of it, no. It’s never noisy when I’m doing housework or cooking, only when it’s something book related.’

‘There’s the root of your problem. It dates back to the Diet of Worms in 1521. Luther refused to repudiate his books and everyone believed the worms had been defeated. Not so. Although they hibernated for many centuries, bookworms have been steadily gaining power. With every book read or recommended their power increases, and now they are ready to take over the world.

‘The choice is yours. Join the glorious army of Bookworms or give up reading forever.’


 If you’re interested in reading either of my published books you can find them here:

© Voinks April 2017

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